1. Tamara Jaber: Ooh Aah
THERE'S so much wrong with this record. Firstly the lyrics: Jaber, who was discovered in Popstars flop stars Scandal'us actually sings ‘‘Ooh aah, I lost my bra, I left it in my boyfriend's car'' and ‘‘Boys are rotten made outta cotton, girls are sexy made outta Pepsi''. Inspiring stuff. Then there was the nepotism factor. Jaber's song and big-budget video were paid for by boyfriend (now husband) Kyle Sandilands, who released it on his King Kyle record label. Why? Because no one else wanted it. Her album is still to surface and the only person who played this song on radio was - surprise surprise - Sandilands. Conspiracy theory: either someone's removed this song from YouTube or no one could be bothered putting it up.
2. Jacko: I'm an Individual
MELBOURNE'S singing footballer Russell Robertson sounds like Frank Sinatra compared to Jacko, who didn't let let a total inability to sing burden him. This 1985 hit is surely the only time the phrase ‘‘inda-bloody-vidual'' has been heard in a recording studio. Impressively the follow up, Me Brain Hurts, is even worse. To think that his manager at the time, Terry Blamey, would go on to steer the career of Kylie Minogue.
3. Warwick Capper: I Only Take What's Mine
BLAME Jacko. A jealous Capper hit the studio after seeing I'm an Individual become a novelty hit. Capper busted out the tight shorts for the video but even they didn't help him hit the high notes in this diabolical song. Or any notes for that matter.
4. Noeline Donaher: No Regrets SOMEONE had the bright idea of using three of Noeline Donaher's 15 minutes of post-Sylvania Waters fame to record a cover of the classic. Except she couldn't sing and it sold by the thimbleful.
6. The Vaughans: Who Farted?
THIS novelty hit stinks in so many ways. The kind of record polluting second hand stores across the land.
THIS novelty hit stinks in so many ways. The kind of record polluting second hand stores across the land.
7. Lee Harding: Wasabi HE was the ‘punk' of Australian Idol who ditched his band for the TV show. It wasn't a good year for Idol - this was the season that inflicted Kate DeAraugo on us. Harding came third but somehow made No.1 with this teen-punk-by-numbers turkey that rhymed ‘‘tsunami' with ‘‘army''. He now resides in the where are they now? file. Along with DeAraugo.
8. Bruce Samazan: One of a Kind FOR a few minutes everyone on TV show E Street tried putting a record out. This ended it all. His rap makes Britney's ex Kevin Federline sound like Jay-Z.
9. Stefan Dennis: Don't It Make You Feel GoodEVERYONE else from Neighbours was releasing records, so Stefan Dennis tried it too. Bouncer would have done a better job.
10. Skyhooks: Jukebox in Siberia SKYHOOKS wrote some amazing singles. This isn't one of them. Their comeback was brief after this and the equally terrible Happy Hippy Hut. Not the way the band, or Shirley Strachan, should be remembered.
11. Dave and the Derros: Nice Legs, Shame About the Face PUB rock novelty hit that was really all about the title. The follow up was Up Your Nose With a Rubber Hose.
12. The Whitlams: Chunky Chunky Air Guitar SOMETIMES you can judge a book by the cover; this was left off the band's recent best of compilation so as to not contravene the Trade Practices Act.
13. Joe Dolce: Shaddap You Face DEBATE rages over whether this - one of the most successful Australian songs ever - is pop genius or insanely annoying. Try listening to it ten times over.
14. Rus Le Roq: I Want To Be Like Marlon Brando RUSSELL Crowe under an early alias; he'd later commit musical crimes as part of Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts.
15. John Farnham: Sadie the Cleaning Lady COME on: even he hates it!
Top 10 stinky covers: they didn't write them, but they ruined them:
Collette: Ring My Bell
Craig McLachlan & Check 1,2: Mona
Teen Queens: Be My Baby
The Chantoozies: Witch Queen
Madison Avenue: Reminiscing
Freaked Out Flower Children: Spill the Wine
Jason Donovan: Sealed With a Kiss
Rolf Harris: Hand in My Pocket
Shannon Noll: C'mon Aussie C'mon
Ernie Sigley & Denise Drysdale: Hey Paula
10 comments:
Tamara got very lucky with Kyle Sandilands. If she had not met him she would have had to give up on her singing career years ago.
Lee Harding I knew he was not a singer, however I am surprised he did not turn up on video hit or something like that.
Australian music is in a sad state when tracks like "wasabi" and "ooh ahh" are allowed to be released not only as a single, but also played on radio!! Do these woeful excuse for artists not have a team that can distinguish what are great lyrics as opposed to godawful lyrics?? How do these music 'professionals' wake up every morning knowing that their the reason shite music is repeatedly being allowed to be put out there to the listening public.. disgraceful.. and the biggest problem with Idol (actually there are a few hundred problems with Idol..) why do they persist with letting the winners release poxy cover versions? On second thought, why does Idol continue to exist???
Very well put together, however, I think you omitted the record company created band with the tasteful name "Chocolate Starfish" from your list of stinky covers - you will recall their no class cover of Carly Simon's You're So Vain.
I also find it pretty hard to tell the difference between a good Johnny Farnham song and a bad one - at least Coldplay don't rate Sadie...
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Noeline Donaher was one of my mother's favorite singers she said that she sings very well and her songs make her feel great. Generic Viagra
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I was hoping to find what I think is the worst song of all time on your list but it isn't! back in 1974 I visited Oz with the Royal Navy and played constantly on the radio was a song called 'Going to a Bar-B a Boogie Woogie Bar B Q'
or something like that. It was so awful it kind of grabbed you. Does anyone know where I can get a copy so I can get rid of any unwanted visitors by playing it?
who the hell thought in appear nude in a music video with stop sign in front of you? jeez I hope that guy has no used Generic Viagra or that sign end in the face of the camera operator.
richard here's your boogie woogie bbq http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6h4aOiUsDjo&feature=player_embedded
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